Low self-esteem can be overcome by using your thoughts, beliefs and imagination to improve how you view yourself. These steps are the first.
Low self-esteem may negatively impact almost all aspects of your life including relationships, work, and health. There are many ways to boost self-esteem.
These steps are based upon cognitive behavioral therapy.
1. Identify troubling situations and conditions
You should think about what situations or circumstances can cause you to lose self-esteem. Some common triggers include:
An example of a presentation from school or work
Crises at home and at work
A problem with a spouse, loved ones, co-worker, friend, or other close person
Changes in your life, such as a job change or the departure of a child from home.
2. Recognize your thoughts and beliefs
Once you have identified troubling situations pay attention to how your thoughts are about them. This includes the self-talk you use and how you interpret the situation. Your beliefs and thoughts can be either positive, neutral or negative. They could be rational, based in facts and reason, or irrational, founded on false beliefs.
These beliefs may be true. Would you share them with a friend? Don’t ever say them to anyone else if they wouldn’t.
3. Refute negative or inaccurate thinking
Sometimes your initial thoughts are not the best way to see the situation. Make sure you verify the accuracy of your thinking. You should examine whether your views are supported by facts and logic, or whether there are other possible explanations.
Recognize that inaccuracies can be hard for people to see. Even though some beliefs and thoughts may seem to be factual and normal, others are simply perceptions or opinions.
Be aware of thought patterns that lower self-esteem.
All-or-nothing thinking. It is easy to see all things as either all-good or all-bad. Example: “If I fail in this task, then I’m a complete failure.”
Mental filtering. Your mind filters out negative things and dwells on them, distorting your perspective of people and situations. You might say, “I made an error on this report and now everyone will know that I’m not up to the job.”
Converting positives into negatives. Rejecting your accomplishments and other positive experiences is a way to make them not count. Example: “I only did well because it was so simple.”
Jumping to negative conclusion. If there is little to no evidence supporting your conclusion, you may jump to negative conclusions. One example: “My friend didn’t reply to my email so it is possible that I did something to make her angry.”
You mistakenly believe that feelings are facts. Sometimes you confuse beliefs and feelings with facts. Example: “I feel like failure, so I must also be a failure.”
Negative self talk. Self-deprecating humor or undervaluing yourself can be used. Example: “I don’t merit anything better.”
4. Your thoughts and beliefs should be adjusted
You can now replace negative thoughts or incorrect thoughts with constructive, accurate thoughts. These are some strategies to try:
Use positive statements. Encourage and treat yourself with kindness. Instead of worrying about whether your presentation will go well, you can tell yourself to be positive and encourage yourself.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes. All people make mistakes. But mistakes don’t reflect on you. They are moments in time. Be honest with yourself.
Avoid using’should’,’must’ statements. These words could be making unreasonable demands of you or others. You can have more realistic expectations by removing these words from your head.
Concentrate on the positive. Consider the areas of your life that are successful. Take into account the skills you’ve developed to handle difficult situations.
Think about what you’ve learned. Consider what you can do differently next time.
You can label upsetting thoughts. You don’t have the right to react negatively to negative thoughts. You can instead view negative thoughts as signals that you are ready to adopt healthier habits. Ask yourself “What can I do and think to make this less stressful?”
Encourage yourself. You can be proud of your positive actions. Consider this example: “My presentation was not perfect, but my coworkers asked questions and remained engaged, which indicates that I succeeded in my goal.”
These steps may also be a good option, as they are based on acceptance therapy and commitment therapy.
1. Identify troubling situations and conditions
Consider the situations and conditions that deflate your self-esteem. Once you’ve identified trouble situations, pay close attention to how your thoughts relate to them.
2. Take a step back from your thoughts
Write down your negative thoughts in a different way. Imagine your negative thoughts printed on various objects. Perhaps you’ll even write a song about them.
These exercises can help to step back from automatic thoughts and beliefs and allow you to observe them. Instead of trying to change what you think, try to distance yourself. You can’t change your thoughts, they are only words.
3. Accept your thoughts
Accept the negative emotions and thoughts instead of resisting, fighting or becoming overwhelmed by them. These feelings don’t need to be loved. You can simply feel them.
Negative thoughts can be managed, changed, or acted on without your permission. Your negative thoughts can be reduced and their impact on your behavior.
While these steps might seem daunting at first glance, they will become much easier as you get more practice. Recognizing the thoughts and beliefs that lead to low self-esteem can help you change or counter them. This will allow you to recognize your worth as a human being. You will experience a greater sense of self-worth and confidence.
You are worthy of special care, so remember these tips along with the others. Make sure you:
Take care of yourself. Be healthy. Get at least 30 minutes of exercise each day on most days of the week. Consume lots of fruits and veggies. Limit sweets, junk foods and animal fats.
Do the things that you are passionate about. Begin by creating a list with the things that you love to do. Every day, try to accomplish something from this list.
Spend time with people who make your life easy. Spend your time with those who treat you well.